The Triple C Project

Shifting Paths: The Art of Realignment

• Ryan Spence • Season 2 • Episode 74

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How does your car's alignment connect to your life's alignment?

What happens when you hit an obstacle, and it causes a misalignment?

How can you use self-awareness to recognise you're no longer aligned?

And what can you do to course correct so you don't damage your well-being, relationships, and life?

Listen in as I delve into these critical questions and uncover the importance of regular check-ins to ensure that where you're heading is still where you want to go.

And I share how my check-ins have led to changes in my life and business, to integrate more of what I love so I can share more tools for living life lit with you!
 
Join me on August 2nd at 5 pm UK time for Legal Zen: Clarity Through Stillness, a meditation workshop that will take you further on the journey towards total alignment and greater clarity.  I can't wait to see you there!

What's your one takeway from this episode? Send a text & let me know

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Ryan Spence:

So I share that, because that's life effectively. So my whole mission is about getting you to live life-lit, to live your life in alignment with your values, and I wanted to share this analogy because living your life in alignment is an ongoing thing. You have to keep checking that you are still aligned. You're listening to the Triple C Project. Welcome to the Triple C Project, a podcast that helps you gain clarity, use confidence, build courage so you can live life-lit. I'm your host, ryan Spence, the big law dropout, life coach, author, speaker, lover of hoodies, hip hop and big, hairy, volatious goals. If you're tired of living the life you think you should want and ready to start living the life you do want, this podcast will help you get from where you are to where you really want to be. So now, with friends, I invite you to grab a drink, take a seat, allow me to guide you towards living a life that's lit. Hey, hey, welcome to episode 74 of the Triple C Project. I'm pretty buzzing this week because I record this episode for you. It's been a very good week For a couple of reasons. So last week, I told you about a meditation workshop that I was going to be running with a friend and fellow coach of mine and that took place this week Well, the week that I'm recording this maybe not the week you're listening to it and it was amazing. It was so, so good. I've run meditations before, but meditation has kind of been something that is a private practice of mine and then occasionally, when I'm asked, I've just sort of run a session. But I've been wanting to integrate meditation, yoga, with the coaching and the writing that I'm doing and trying to figure out the best way to do that, a way that feels more aligned for me. And this was a really good way of just seeing if what was the idea that was going on in my head actually lit me up the way I thought it would in practice. And it did. Some great attendees, everybody engaged, shared insights, gave really great feedback and, yeah, it was fantastic. So if you missed out, you're in luck because you've got a chance to come again. So I'm running in the session again. It'd be slightly different session but broadly along similar lines and that will take place on the 2nd of August at 5 pm UK time.

Ryan Spence:

You can register by hitting the link in the show notes. The link is subscribepageio slash legal zen and if you find it hard to remember that. Just go to the show notes on the app that you're listening to. There'll be a link to take you straight there. Or head to any of my social media profiles Instagram or LinkedIn and get the link in the bio or profile and you can register there. It's gonna be an hour.

Ryan Spence:

I'm going to share with you how meditation helped me go from big law lawyer to the big law dropout, helped me to find more intention, more joy, more happiness in my life and help create my vision. I'm gonna share with you some meditation benefits and debunk some meditation myths. I'll also guide you through a meditation, a short meditation. If you went through the meditation that I guided you through on last week's episode and you enjoyed that, then you're gonna enjoy this one too. And the beauty of attending the session as well, above all of that, is that you then get to Reflect and share those reflections and insights with other people in the group. And meditation is a solitary, a personal practice, but when you are in a meditation circle, there's just a different energy and In person that's fantastic and even virtually you lose a little bit, but you still gain a lot just by being in the same space as everybody else going through the same thing and then sharing your reflections afterwards, it can really help you to kind of see things in a little bit differently or pick up on things that maybe you hadn't picked up on before, or even just see that, yeah, there's somebody else who thinks just like me. That's exactly what I thought too, so you can probably hear in my voice I'm really excited about running this workshop. It's free, so, and you would also get, after the workshop, a Free workbook slash journal which will give you tips about how to start and build and maintain a consistent meditation practice. It'll also share a few of the resources that I use for my own meditation to kind of mix things up a bit, and there'll also be some journal prompts there for to make your post meditation reflection Easy, so you don't have to think about it too much. So it's gonna be great. So, again, head to the show notes of the app You're listening to, click the link and go ahead and register, or hit me up on Instagram at I am underscore Ryan spent, lincoln bio or everyone linked in shirts for Ryan spent and in the profile You'll see the link there. It's gonna be lit, okay, and the other reason I'm burst is.

Ryan Spence:

I got some new ink, so I got tattoo number eight this week, which I know From a recent conversation that my mum is listening to this episode so she won't be happy. But sorry, mum, I am very happy. If any of you've got tattoos, you probably have have been through this as well. I remember when I got my first one and Even though I have this irrational phobia of needles, there was just something about getting that first tattoo which just set something off in me, and Now I just keep getting them. So now I'm on number eight. I'm really, really happy with the, the one that I've got in the studio that I went to. It was a different studio this time. I like to mix things up a bit, but I'm really happy with the, with the work that was done, and I'm sure I will be back there again for number nine at some point. All the ones I've got a pretty small At some point I'm thinking of having a bigger one on my right arm, but I haven't got an idea for that. But what I like is that all of my tattoos, they all mean something, they all have a meaning to them. So it's really nice when people kind of see them and like them to be able to explain to them what my thinking is behind them, why I got them and how they're. They're all personal to me. So, yeah, very excited about that. Um, I, I'm excited to be here talking to you here on this podcast, the triple C project.

Ryan Spence:

Oh, the third thing, that was it the book, the new book. So I'm now six chapters in on the first draft, which is good and already I'm so. When I wrote the first book, my first draft was around 10,000 words. How I thought 10,000 words was enough for a book, I had no idea, but anyway, it was Already. This, this new one is, is above that, with six chapters and it is still a first draft.

Ryan Spence:

And, having the experience the first time, I know that the first draft is literally you're getting all your ideas down on paper and then the next stage will be to start working with my developmental editor to give it a little bit more structure, a little bit more form. But I'll talk more about that process as that arrives. But I'm already starting to line up the team that I need so that, unlike last time, I'm not waiting weeks and weeks and weeks to kind of get different stages in the process completed. So being in touch with my formata copy editor still is getting touch with my blurb writer already booked my book coach and developmental editor way back when. So the good thing for me is that having these people already lined up and also having paid them some money hold me accountable. It means that I've got to hit the milestones that I set for myself. So first draft has to be done in my mind by the 4th of September so that when I start to work with the developmental editor we can then start to whip that into shape before getting it out to beta readers, who will kind of give it a read through. I can then make any changes that I feel necessary from their comments before then going on to the editor. So that's just a little bit about the book writing process.

Ryan Spence:

If you have ever thought about writing and self publishing your own book and you'd like to know a little bit more about the process, send me a message either on Instagram, linkedin or email. Hey, at, I am Ryan Spencecom and yeah, let me know your questions. I'll be happy to do an episode on that. I think that what I've learned is that a lot of lawyers, at least, are frustrated writers, and I think that the power of getting your words out there, to people sharing your story it really has just shifted a lot in me, creatively, amongst anything else. So I always encourage anyone who says I think I'd like to write a book one day. So you're like, yeah, do it, seriously, do it. So I really like to share anything that would be helpful to you. If that's the stage that you're in, and even if you're not looking to write a book, some of the ideas and the processes and the mindset shifts that you have to make to write a book are applicable to other things that you want to do. So an episode on that process will be useful and helpful for you, whether you are a budding writer or not. All right, so it's probably the longer preamples I've done, but hopefully you've found all of that useful.

Ryan Spence:

So that is also to kind of set the scene for what I'm going to talk about today. And what I want to talk about is checking your alignment. So clarity, as I always say, is the foundation knowing who you are, what you want, why you want it and then it's about creating a life and making decisions that are in alignment with your values and with the clarity, with the vision of the life you've created for yourself and your mind. And when you are in alignment, that's when you're living life lit, when you feel that it's not like everything's in balance, but you feel that you're going the direction that you want to go in, that you need to go in deep in your soul, deep within. But sometimes we can fall out of alignment. So I'm going to demonstrate this by talking about my car a little bit.

Ryan Spence:

So when I take my car into the service, one of the things that they do is look at the alignment of the wheels. And the thing is, when you are driving your car if you drive at all you will notice that Sometimes and I don't advocate doing this, particularly on busy roads but if you just let go of the wheel slightly, the car, if it's in alignment, will just keep going in the direction that it was pointing. But when the tracking is a little bit up, it shifts out of alignment, it starts to drift off a little bit to the left or to the right, so it's no longer going in the direction that you want it to go, and so you have to keep course correcting until such time as you get it figured out. Get it sorted out Because you're kind of fighting to keep your car on track. And okay, in reality you're probably not really fighting, I mean you're not driving a tank. But for the benefit of this metaphor and the story I'm sharing, you just picture that that you're trying to drive in one direction but your car is veering off to the left or to the right and you're having to kind of grab hold of the wheel to kind of bring it back to the direction that you're going in.

Ryan Spence:

So you start out with your car in alignment, but over time it gets misaligned. And the reason that misalignment occurs is, you know, you hit things. You hit an obstacle, whether it's a speed bump or a pothole hopefully nothing more serious than that. But hitting those, particularly hitting them at speed, is going to knock your wheels out of alignment, and sometimes it can be quite subtle. You don't necessarily always realize that it is out of alignment until you see that, as in my case, one tire is slightly more worn than the other and that indicates that there is an imbalance that you hadn't really noticed. So that can decrease the life of the tires on your car.

Ryan Spence:

So the advice is always to check your wheels regularly and check that they're in alignment and, if they're not, take them to get them aligned. So I share that, because that's life effectively. So my whole mission is about getting you to live life lit, to live your life in alignment with your values, and I wanted to share this analogy because living your life in alignment is an ongoing thing. You have to keep checking that you are still aligned, because sometimes you really want to do something, you start to do the thing, but then at some point it stops giving you the joy that you thought it would give you or that it used to give you, or you have an idea about something, but then something else comes along and the first idea you had is no longer feeling as good to you as the new idea. So what that means is that what was aligned, what was once aligned for you, may not be aligned anymore, and you have to be prepared for that. You have to develop the self-awareness to know when that's starting to occur and to get curious as to why that misalignment is happening.

Ryan Spence:

And maybe, like when you're driving your car, it's because you have hit an obstacle, you've hit a speed bump or a pothole, and by that I mean that maybe you've been moving forward far too quickly and you've burnt out. You've hit a wall and you need to take a step back and realign yourself. Look at what you can maybe let go, what you can change to ensure that you can keep moving forward in a way that doesn't decrease your life, decrease your health just like being misaligned in your car will decrease the life of your tires. Maybe it's that you get really excited about doing a particular thing and it doesn't have the success that you thought it would have. So then you've got to ask yourself Does that matter? Is this still in alignment? Do I still want to do this, even though it didn't have the success that I wanted? Or Was I doing it for another reason, which has now become apparent?

Ryan Spence:

Maybe you you thought you were doing it because you enjoyed it, but really, deep down, you were doing it because you thought you could make a lot of money doing it. Or maybe you were really doing it because it's what your parents really wanted you to do. It wasn't really your dream. It was really what they wanted you to do, or believe that you should do. Or maybe your teacher at school Says you'd be really great at that. I can really see you doing that. You should really go ahead and do it. Or maybe you just got an in, maybe there was just a gap, an opening somewhere that allowed you to walk into a job that other people would kill for, but it's not aligned. You just fell into it. Now you're looking around thinking why the hell am I here? So Alignment isn't one undone thing, and I'm seeing this Even more so now.

Ryan Spence:

So, obviously, leaving big law for me, that was a big shift because that wasn't aligned. But even now that I'm doing things that I want to do and moving towards a vision of the life I want to live, I'm still having to course correct. I'm still having to check my alignment and see what it is that is working for me, because Some things that maybe works for me two years, three years ago or that I thought I really wanted to do in that time, actually I maybe don't want to do now, or maybe want to do a little bit different. So this takes me back to one of the things I spoke about at the top of the show meditation. Yoga was the thing that I wanted to do when I left big law.

Ryan Spence:

I still had the same mission of helping people in the position that I was in who felt like a stressed out cog in a corporate wheel, helping them to find themselves again, guiding them back to themselves so they could go off and do the things that they really wanted to do. It's sort of feeling stuck in a life that they didn't want. That was always the mission, that was always the goal, but yoga was the way that I was going to do that and, if you don't know, yoga has eight limbs and meditation is one of those eight limbs. So meditation was always combined with that yoga. So that was always the way that I was going to do things and coaching was something that Was kind of calling me. People are asking me to speak to, people asking me to Help other people out who are in situations that they didn't really want to be in and didn't really know what to do about it. And I resisted that calling and at some point I just felt, okay, the universe is obviously telling me something, let's just try this out. And I found out that I love coaching.

Ryan Spence:

But in pursuing the coaching, I Neglected well, I didn't really neglect, but I kind of didn't put as much focus on the yoga. I still practiced, I still meditated, but I Wasn't taking my teaching in the way that I had initially wanted to take it. It's kind of went a bit on the back burner and that's fine. I mean, look, we only have a limited amount of time and you can't do everything and I have a lot of things going on. But particularly in the last I don't know six to six months to a year, I have felt this pull back to my practice Not to the physical practice, I mean, that's always been there but more back into the philosophy of yoga and really wanting to get deeper within that, because I always saw the parallels between the philosophy of yoga and the sort personal development world around coaching. But I found there was, to me just felt to be, a little bit more purity in some of the philosophy that I was reading, as, in my opinion, some of the personal development stuff in the personal development world got a little bit, I don't know, toxic, toxic positivity like, if you like, and so I always wanted to be able to come back and marry All of these things together the yoga, the meditation, the coaching and, of course, the writing.

Ryan Spence:

Writing is another thing which has taken Taking up more space in my life Since I wrote the book. Really, I mean, I've been writing every day now for probably around two years in some way shape or form, whether it's Instagram caption or an email to my email list, or writing the book or just scribbling in a journal and I have lots of journals with lots of scribblings around but writing is a huge part as well, and I knew that I didn't kind of want to let that go as well. I didn't want to just be a coach I'm ever saying that to my business coach recently. I know that's I just I'm more than that. I don't just want to be a coach, I want to be all of these other things as well.

Ryan Spence:

So and I'm showing this because this is an example in real time for you guys of looking at your alignment my alignment was it was okay, but there was still this kind of veering off a little bit to the right or to the left and I didn't fully feel that okay, I was fully doing everything that I wanted to do in the way that I wanted to do it. So I needed to take a step back, look at my alignment and recalibrate, and that's kind of what I've been doing over the last couple of months, I guess, and I now particularly with running the last meditation workshop and some of the other plans that I've got coming up in the pipeline. I'm feeling like this is it Now. I'm feeling like I'm back in alignment and I'm sure that at some point there will be this shift again and I'll need to take a step back and look again and kind of recalibrate and, as I said, because this is an ongoing thing, so I know I wanted to share this because I think sometimes you can feel that when I'm on this path now and I just need to stay on it, and even if it feels out of alignment, even if it's dragging me to the right or to the left a little bit, and I'm not kind of getting that feeling of joy, of satisfaction, that feeling that this is really what I want to do, I'm really feeling fulfilled. You just feel that you kind of just have to go with it now because that's the path that you chose. That's where this thing that you chose is taking you. And whether you see this as permission or it's just something that's inspiring or it's just good to hear somebody else share their experience, I just wanted to share that. It's fine. It's okay to realign, it's okay to course correct, to recalibrate, because the other day. This is your life. It's your life. You got to create it in the way that you want it. And by when you create that vision, you've got to then make the decisions to take you as close to that vision as you possibly can.

Ryan Spence:

So if something feels a little bit off, fix it, get curious as to why and fix it, change it. It doesn't necessarily mean you've got to make drastic changes overnight and burn everything down, but what's a small shift that you can do, what's a small change that you can make to start to bring you back into alignment? And I think that if and always comes back to the very beginning of the triple C method, if you are very clear on what your core values are at that particular moment in time, then those decisions are going to be a hell of a lot easier to see and to make, because they are going to bring you back to who you really are and to where it is that you want to go. So that's all I have for you this week. I just want to leave you with this. I guess this thought If something is feeling off, feeling a little off, kilter, even if you've done lots of inner work before, you've worked with a coach.

Ryan Spence:

You've done a lot of yoga, you've done a lot of meditation, you've really looked within yourself and you really feel good about yourself. If something is feeling off about where it is that you're heading, get curious, ask yourself why. Look at what's changed, because as you grow, things will shift. That's normal. It's like when you're a child as you grow, the clothes that you really love suddenly become a lot smaller and you've got to get new clothes. Same thing as you grow certain things that you loved you may fall out of love with, or you may find things that you love a little bit more. So make the shifts that you need to make to bring yourself back into alignment, because it's only when you are in alignment, when you're living in alignment with your values, that you can really experience what it's like to live life lit, and that's what it's all about, right. Thanks for listening. Thank you for being here, looking forward to catching up with you again next week. Go ahead and join.

Ryan Spence:

Register for the meditation workshop. It's called Legal Zen Finding Clarity Through Stillness. You don't have to be a lawyer to attend, but it's going to be a really good group. I'm pretty sure of that. It only went up a few hours ago already, one person signed up and I'm sure there's going to be more in the coming weeks. I was going to say it's less than two weeks from today that I'm recording this one. It's going to happen, so come along. Come along, check it out. And also, because if you do come along and check it out and you are blown away, you really enjoy it, you really feel it's variable, then let me know, because I'm also in the process of pitching a longer, eight-week workshop to law firms and organizations and, who knows, I could come and deliver the workshops at your place if it works for you. So, as I say, go ahead, check it out. Link is in the show notes or head to.

Ryan Spence:

I am Ryan Spence. I am underscore Ryan Spence on Instagram or find me Ryan Spence on LinkedIn or drop me an email. Hey, at Iamrhyanspencecom, and I look forward to seeing you in the workshop Until next week. Thank you for being here and you know I'm going to say right, stop living a life of lethargy, start living life lit. Thanks for tuning in to the Triple C project.

Ryan Spence:

In the spirit of the Triple C, there's three things that you can do to support the show. Head to ratethispodcastcom. Slash triple C or over to your favorite podcast app and leave a review. Reviews really help people checking out shows to see what they can expect and how the show can help them. Second thing you can do share. Share this episode, share a previous episode with a friend, someone who you feel could benefit from what I'm throwing down on this show. And, number three, head to Iamrhyanspencecom. Get on the mailing list. I'll be sharing news about the show, news about what I'm up to, my new book start writing soon. So to be the first to be in the know, you need to get yourself on the list. Really appreciate you being here and until next week, stop living a life of lethargy. Start living life lit.